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1. First of all, you must make a conscious decision that you really want more peace in your life and your world. If you can't do that, don't bother with the following steps, they won't work in the long run.

2. Take a deep breath and tell yourself they're only annoying you because you've made some decisions about them and yourself that are at odds with each other.

3. Step back in your mind and simply observe them and yourself interacting with each other. Be the witness that doesn't get emotionally involved. What you're doing here is learning about yourself.

4. When they've gone, re-run the scenario in your mind and try and figure out exactly what is getting under your skin. Again, you have to come at this from an impartial point of view - you must look at your own beliefs and values as if they belong to someone else if you are to get a clear view of the mechanism of this inner conflict.

5. If they bopped you on the nose - its obvious they're violent. But what did you do to get in the way? Did you contribute to the anger of the situation by goading them? Should you have parted from them a few years ago? Could you have been more understanding earlier on? "Encouraging your enemies" (see Sananda's Message ) doesn't mean you have to stick it out to the bitter end, if you're in an abusive relationship. But maybe "lay down your weapons" means you at least stop judging them while you walk away. Or don't hit them back. Walk away and tend to your own wounds (including inner ones) instead.

6. If they merely irritate the stuffing out of you, ask yourself why. Again be impartial. You've probably made a value judgement that you're better than them in some way or their way is wrong. But remember, we're all here for a reason. And as God's omnipresent, He's in them too. If He can love them, maybe we ought to get down off our righteous point of view and at least tolerate them.

7. Ask the Universe for the willingness to let go of your negative view points towards them.

8. Ask the Universe again. And again, and again!

9. Instead of focusing on how they make you angry, focus instead on your life, your projects, your interests and your most cherished dreams. And keep re-focusing on them every time your mind wanders to how irritating that person is. And be patient - you're re-training your mind to work in a more peaceful way here, it will take some time.

10. If you haven't got enough of your own to keep focused on, get a life! Literally! Go out and make new friends, join a group, take up a hobby. Go for that goal that you've had since you were young. God made you for a reason too. Maybe it's time to find out what that reason is. (Read "What happens if I lose my way").

11. Chant a mantra to yourself every time you remember, if that helps you keep your mind off that annoying person. "Peace/relax" with the breath is a good one.

12. And go over different ways you can respond to that person the next time you see them. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got" is true. So try a response instead of a knee-jerk reaction. Ask questions, be curious about them. "Walk a few steps in the other person's moccasins" is a very wise saying.

13. Keep asking the Universe for help.

14. Be forgiving. Of yourself as well as the other person. And be kind. They might be suffering too.

15. Keep an open mind. Suspend the belief that the situation can't change if you can't actually believe that it will.

16. Be open to a pleasant surprise. At best, you will end up friends or admiring the other person. At worst, you will at least have learned a little more about yourself, perhaps started a new project, and strengthened your connection with the Universe. And you can't complain at that can you?